It’s strange, isn’t it? The way you push people away.
So many questions. Do friends come close only when there are selfish reasons? Do people only like you because you have something that benefits them? Is it because you are momentarily likeable, or because you have what they aim to gain? There’s a form of friendship that lasts for two reasons only: when they want something from you, or when you constantly reconnect to a dead connection.
Is it the conditioning of ideologies injected into our belief systems from a young age? Is it the conditioning of our circumstances that has submitted humanity to modern slavery, leaving little room for other fish to swim around this deformed giant one?
And why do you care? You don’t. Or do you? Are you hurt? Are you numb? You question everything yet you fear actually listening to any answer that could cut beyond the surface. Is this your life, or are you just dragging yourself through it with your fading flame of rebellion?
Maybe it is the human condition. Maybe none of this matters and it’s all a joke, and you can just enjoy it, laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all.
It feels good to feel good. But maybe the duality of life drags you down to feel bad just so you can rebalance yourself to feel good again. You can’t only feel good all the time. And this balance, the duality of everything in accordance to everything, is absolutely beautiful. It is the state of being. You laugh and you cry, you help and you hurt, you lose and you gain, you give and you take. You do it all, you have it all, you are all of it. You are the universe and the universe is you.
But this time, all you have is questions.
Whatever made the things that don’t really matter the biggest factors in your life? Social conforming? Global mind control? Is it the ██████████?
Remember when your hobbies were the main parts of your life — back when you had passion and dreams and ambitions and an outlook towards life filled with love and vigor? Now you’re just a number, pushing numbers, increasing numbers, trying not to lose numbers, chasing objects, feeding a gluttonous machine that wants more and more.
Remember when family, friends, loved ones were closer to the center and the rest was complimentary?
Now your soft edges have been roughened up. Your wings clipped. Your characteristics removed.
This robotization of you… is this what’s to become of you?
Do you give up, or do you try again?